Genre: TV (comedy)Premise: A team of young struggling tech entrepreneurs discover their fortunes rotate upside-down when one that them access time on a genius new method to compress data.About: Spearheaded by one of the funniest writers ever, Mike Judge, “Silicon Valley” is the latest half-hour show coming to HBO. Co-writers Dave Krinsky and John Altschuler worked with Judge before on King the the Hill, and likewise penned the 2007 will certainly Ferrell comedy, chisels of Glory. The two additionally have a comedy v Steve Carell dubbed Brigadier Gerard around a horseman throughout the Napoleanic wars. Maintaining a liven schedule, they’re also eating their spinach in stimulate to write Popeye because that Sony.Writers: Mike Judge, man Altschuler & Dave KrinskyDetails: 38 pages – undated

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Mike Judge

There room a few people out there who have created movies therefore good, they acquire a life time pass v me. That means I will read anything or clock anything they do, no matter how countless missteps lock make. Mike Judge is among those people. Ns love Office an are so much that he could make a movie around old ladies knitting and I would certainly camp exterior the movie theater the day prior to the movie come out, put on an old woman costume and also carrying an industrial-sized round of yarn.

You are watching: Silicon valley pilot script

Truth it is in told, i wasn’t the best fan of Idiocracy or Extract. They had actually their moments, and Judge quiet stuffed some funny characters in each, but it was the framework that doomed them. I don’t think it is his specialty. Particularly with Extract, i m sorry peaked in ~ the midpoint climate stumbled to the finished line.

Luckily, TV isn’t about plot so lot as character. So it fits the well. Ns mean, ns not even a fan of trailer trash humor, but I’ve probably seen half of all the King that the Hill episodes since every other episode there’d it is in at least one thing that would placed you on the floor laughing.

So similar to Jar Jar has a life debt v Qui-Gon, I have a life debt v Mike Judge. Let’s see what’s walk on in this genius’s head.

20-something Thomas has actually been couch-surfing at among the numerous “tech frat” houses that dot Silicon Valley. You understand what i’m talking about – the kind of ar where Jesse Eisenberg and also Justin Timberlake partied in the movie, The society Network.

But, unlike note Zuckerberg, cutting board isn’t doing so hot. The owner of the house, a mildly successful “White Urkel” named Erlich, has told him that unless he have the right to start paying rent, he’s the end on the street. And also out on the street for Thomas method going earlier to St. Louis and giving increase on his Silicon valley dream.

Thomas’s friend in the house include a young Indian man who loves Rugby, a black guy who tho wears braces, an oriental guy who can’t to speak anything without swearing 7 times, and also a dude called “Big Head,” who, rather unsurprisingly, has actually a huge head. All these men are rooting for thomas to number it out, but it no look favor it’s going to happen.

Well, no so fast. ~ a collection of fortuitous events, Thomas’s application (a music application that overcome checks your music against other artists’ music to view if she stealing indigenous them) ends up in the hand of two of the biggest billionaires in Silicon Valley. But not for the app’s original purpose (upon which everyone agrees sucks, except Thomas). Rather, his application cuts down a song’s default paper size by half!

All the a sudden, thomas is being readily available 30 million dollars indigenous one billionaire and the opportunity to flourish a gargantuan company from another. In both cases, though, neither man seems come care about what cutting board wants many – to adjust the world. Therefore he does the unexpected. He turns down both men, join his buddies, and also starts a new company that his own.

My an initial impression of Silicon sink was… where’s Mike Judge???

I was having actually a tough time seeing his voice here. Judge is recognized for producing really out-there hilarious characters. Yet every the characters here space standard. Not necessarily cliché (I’m not sure I’ve checked out a non-stop swearing Taiwanese character before) however bland.

If you look in ~ Office Space, soooooo countless of those characters stood out. Over there isn’t a solitary character who stood the end here. And also what’s monster is the it doesn’t also seem favor they were trying to make them was standing out. Wherein was the irony (a straight-laced white guy who loved rap)? The distinct dialogue quirks (“Ummm, yeahhhhh”)? The strange obsessions (a weirdo who’s in love with a stapler)? The strange mannerisms (The stapler guy always talking in whispers and also mumbles)? There was absolutely no one of that here.

This leader me to believe that Altschuler and Krinsky most likely did many of the composing here. I’m additionally basing this top top the fact that Silicon Valley focuses on the one thing Judge is uninterested in, plot. The pilot below is really plot-centric and almost collection up choose a movie. Our key character has actually a goal (figure out exactly how to market his app), comb (if that doesn’t, he’s kicked out of the house) and urgency (he’s got until the finish of the month to perform it).

Now, friend know exactly how much I choose my GSU yet something’s turn off here. The manuscript was therefore constricted trying to hit all the plot beats, that it could never prevent to breath or have fun. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that they only had 30 minutes to to the right the story into and also therefore had to framework it tightly. However in this case, it felt favor it sucked all the creative thinking out the the situations and the characters.

I was likewise a little confused by our main character’s purpose. Cutting board is a very idealistic person, always saying the he came to Silicon sink to “change the world,” no make money. The ideology even determines the course of the show, as he turns down money and fame come “change the world” through his friends. Yet how is he transforming the human being with a music app?

Yeah, I recognize the application helps musicians, but that’s a far cry from “changing the world.” This reminded me the a usual problem writers run into. Lock come up v a plot solution that solves a large problem, but it no gel correctly with the other elements of your story. This Trojan-horse music app solution solves a key plot problem. It offers our key character a legitimate sounding “failed” idea that deserve to later turn into a believable “big” idea. However it go so at the cost of not matching up through our key character’s ideology.

The writer then deals with a challenge. Does he rebuild the plot point to far better fit the character (which, if he wants to do it good, is walk to take it a lengthy time)? Or walk he leaving it that means and fudge the difference? many writers pick the latter because… well, because it’s easier.

The point is, the latter never works. If you’re hearing that little voice in her head telling you, “This no working. I must fix it,” that voice is ideal 99.9% that the time. If you see it, readers will see it. That sucks, having actually to rewrite something it is clever and smart and took girlfriend a lengthy time come come up with. But I’ve said this before and also I’ll say it forever: Nobody ever before said screenwriting to be easy.

I realize i sound prefer a frenzied stock broker screaming, “Sell market sell!” today yet Silicon sink isn’t a poor script. It’s simply not exceptional. That needed more quirks, more interesting characters, and it essential to have more fun. I did wonder a couple of times, however, if i misread the tone. Yes a opportunity that the reason there no a ton the laughs here is since this is positioned as a dramedy as opposed to a comedy. If that’s the case, then I come in v the wrong expectations, which obviously affected my opinion. I guess us won’t discover out until the present hits the air. And also because the Judge, i’ll be over there to uncover out.

< > what the hell walk I simply read? wasn’t for me< > worth the read< > impressive< > genius

What ns learned: One point I learned below is that if your plot and structure space too tight, they start to constrict the flow of the story. And also that can be deadly because that a comedy, which demands to feeling fun. So as soon as you’re creating comedy, yes, make sure the framework is in place, but additionally know the it’s okay to let your characters loose here and also there, come let a scene flow, to no only it is in consumed through plot exposition and hitting all her beats.

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What ns learned 2: Four qualities that make your characters funnier are a) irony b) mannerisms c) obsessions and d) conversation quirks/phrases.