I am resting with mine ex boyfriend who has actually a girlfriend. This was no my intention at all, i swear! We had been dating for a small under 2 years and broke up 6 months ago.

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We never ever really stopped talking after ~ the break up and made plans last month to watch each other to ‘make things work.’

It simply felt for this reason safe and also familiar. We conveniently fell right into the same habits and we slept together. A pair of times.

He is currently seeing someone however says the isn’t serious and also he tho cares about me. I have been asking him if we can pick up whereby we left off yet he pulls far whenever I lug up getting back together.

Should I provide him an ultimatum?! It’s either me or his brand-new girlfriend.


Ms. Ultimatum

I’m resting With mine Ex-Boyfriend Who has actually A Girlfriend


Dear Ms. Ultimatum,

There is A LOT come unpack here.

First that all, I want to speak I execute sympathize with what you’re walk through. I think a lot of human being will read this and automatically think you’re in the not correct (I’m no saying you’re not, however I know your heartache and also struggle.)

Listen, breakups are hard, messy, and take time to fully heal. Friend didn’t specify why the two of you damaged up, however it yes, really doesn’t issue in the grand plan of things.

One, or both that you, chose the connection wasn’t repairable and also it was time to relocate on.

Your first mistake below was maintaining in contact and also trying to make it work. I am a large proponent that no call after a breakup so you don’t acquire into these messy situations.

But currently that you’re here, what deserve to you do?!

Honestly, and I say this wholeheartedly, MOVE ON.

Your ex-boyfriend is showing he’s not a particularly great person. He’s lying to his new girlfriend, he’s stringing you along, the obviously can’t have actually an adult conversation through you around what’s happening. It begs the question, why perform you desire him in the an initial place?!

Ms. Ultimatum, please, please, please pick up your crown and also get the end of this as quickly as you can.

Don’t degrade yourself more by resting with this male who doesn’t love you, much less, respect you.

And for the love of god – please carry out not sell him an ultimatum!

No good, honest, love relationship ever started v an ultimatum. And also you’re trying to restart this partnership after a breakup, affair, and also ultimatum?!

It’s time to placed on some Lizzo and Ariana Grande and NEXT!

Sincerely, Claudia

Honestly, I recognize the appeal of resting with one ex. I truly, important do.

But no an excellent can come indigenous this.

One point is two grown adults having an honest and open conversation around their relationship and seeing if they deserve to fix things.

And another is jumping into bed v an ex-boyfriend the end of habit or loneliness.

But if there’s one thing I understand is this: Sex is just Sex. Don’t think that resting with any type of man will certainly make him want you, miss out on you, or great to get back with you.

It won’t happen. And also especially if that ex-boyfriend you’re sleeping with has a new girlfriend.

All you’re act in this situationship is questioning for disrespect and also hurt feelings.

And ns refuse to think you think that’s what girlfriend deserve.

A half-ass connection with a man who can’t be fully there?! Girl, we should love ourselves a little bit much more than that.

Grab your girlfriends, contact your mom, buy part Ben & Jerries and also repeat after me ‘I don’t want anyone that doesn’t desire me,’ okay?!

And I know what you’re questioning yourself….

Why Is my Ex getting to Out come Me when He has A Girlfriend?

Honestly it doesn’t mater why he’s getting to out.

But if you desire to go further down the rabbit-hole, these room the key reasons men reach out to their exes (even when they have actually a girlfriend)

They’re lonely

Yes. The other L-word.

Just because you’re v someone doesn’t mean you’re completely satisfied and also happy.

Plenty of human being experience loneliness as soon as they’re in relationships. Simply as much as single people, believe it or not.

So him reaching out to you could be less about him absent you and an ext of that trying to to fill his own inner void.

The Grass Is Greener

The ‘grass is greener’ syndrome is a typical issue among many civilization (men and woman alike)

It is once you are always looking in ~ what you’re absent instead the what friend have.

People who frequently get a instance of Grass-Is-Greeneritis will certainly likely always be to compare their present girlfriends to an ex. They might look in ~ the negative qualities their new partners have actually instead of the an excellent ones.

These people are likely to get nostalgic and also end up getting to out to an ex.

Note: These males are likely to have actually been getting to out come prior exes as soon as YOU were date them. They are most likely never solve and constantly unhappy in their existing relationships.

He wants Sex

I mean… This goes without saying in all the cases.

Your ex go not now nor ever want to be ‘just friends.’


When he states he want’s to it is in friends: Sex.

When the asks ‘how have actually you been?’: Sex.

When he sends out you a meme: SEX!!

Listen. He can be a pretty guy and also maybe sex isn’t the very first thing top top his mind (but who believes that?!) however I’m ready to go the end on a limb and say the this guy is just reaching the end to you due to the fact that you represent an chance to obtain laid.

Unfortunately, men think it’s easier to sleep through someone they’ve already slept v than through someone new. It’s familiar, it’s safe, and it’s (in your minds) EASY.

So if you desire to respond come his cute small ‘how are you doing?’ text, go appropriate ahead, however don’t lie come yourself.

He has an ulterior motive. Whether that’s filling a void or sex (or both concurrently LOL!) – I simply want you to be aware.

See more: Time To Say Goodbye Twenty One Pilots, Time To Say Goodbye By Twenty One Pilots

Personally, i wouldn’t respond. Yet if you’re a nicer, kinder human being than ns am then go ahead. However please, please, pleaaaase don’t sleep v an ex friend who has actually a girlfriend.

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