While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is just because tbelow is no such thing.

You are watching: Things dr. bright is not allowed to do

Tright here is no industry for SCP brand also pornography. 1.No, not even in Germany.

Victims of SCP-217 are not playthings. 1.Nor are they to be provided as props at a Steampunk Convention.

. Not also for recreational usage.

Not permitted to sfinish Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church of the Broken God.

Not allowed to end reports through lyrics from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". 1.But is permitted to finish via lyrics from the Safety Dance. 2.The interpretive dance regime, but, is forbidden till he gets lessons for the foreseeable future.

Dr. Bideal is NOT: A superhero of any type of type, Head of Public Relations, in charge of Orientation for brand-new staff, a doctor of psychology, a member of Site Command, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head of SCP Recheck out, or a member of Maintenance Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Bbest IS a member of Site Command also. It's usually finest not to ask why. It's O5 Command you're reasoning of.)

No much longer permitted to make up jodies for morning calisthenics. 1.Yes, this contains The Miccrucial Mousage Club song.

Dr. Bbest is not allowed to apply SCP-963 to any kind of significant political numbers. Aobtain.

Dr. Bright is not from an different timeline. 1.Dr. Bideal cannot concern orders to "preserve the timeline". 2.Or to "corrupt the timeline". 3.Or to "screw with those history nerds".

1.Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.1.Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.2.Or "Chainobserved cannons"1.Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.SCP rate dating never before taken place. Any one who claims to remember such an event should report to Site Command also for administration of Class A amnesiac.

Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'

"My evil twin did it" is no much longer considered a viable excuse. 1.Nor is "My excellent twin did it," considering the effects.

Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't instantly become D-course personnel.

The "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" is not grounds to pit even more than fifteenager combative SCPs, consisting of SCP-682 and Able, versus each other. 1."Weeding out some of these angsty teenagers with perspective problems," however, is. 2.Dr. Bbest is not enabled to carry out 'Free Hugs.'

The Foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any of the following: 1."Stab Carrion Powerfully" 2."Let's use it on 682!" 3."Throw the cheese!" 4."That's it, you're on Keter Duty." 5."Can we put it in 914?" 6."Blood renders the grass thrive, kill, kill, kill!" 7."Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfucker!" 8."Someone is obtaining stabbed." 1.But some days, it must be. 9."Whose hand is that?" 10."If all else falls short, poop on it." 11."If all else fails, there's always the sun." 12."We need bigger kittens." 13."Society of Creepy Perverts." 14."Fuck Death, War, Starvation and Pestilence. We've gained Clef, Gears, Kondraki and also Bappropriate." 15."Throw D-Class at it until it stops." 16."447 and dead bodies, two great tastes that taste excellent together." 17."The FBI are a bunch of pansies." 18."Who desires to check out what I have the right to make the president perform in public?" 19."For the Horde!" 20."Science for the Science God!" 21."Make certain to wipe your feet on 2558!" 22."When in doubt, feed it to 682." 23."Slapstick, Clowns and Puns" 24."Drop the blanket now!" 25."Seduction, Coitus, and also Pregnancy" 26."We always need more Dakka!" 27."Still Alive, and Found the Cake" 28."Don't Worry, O5 won't ever before number it out!" 29."Will it blend?" 30."Commies love us!" 31."Snap Crackle and also Pop"

Dr. Bappropriate is no longer enabled to offer the solution of "Use even more guns" to any kind of difficulty. 1.Or "Get bigger guns."

In spite of what he may say and any type of evidence, no matter exactly how plausible, the SCP Foundation has never and will certainly never be associated via Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and regardmuch less of what Dr. Bright might say, he is not, and I quote, "A real life wizarding tutor." 1.Nor is he a vampire. That was body glitter and also poor acting. 2.And despite what the computer system file on him may say, he is not Muad'dib. The spice have the right to flow just fine without him.

Cthulhu and R'lyeh are not valid reasons to sfinish Pandora's Box out into the Pacific Ocean in order to capture them. In addition, these are not even SCPs, and also I will certainly find the perkid who made a decision to enter a database file for them.

Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to uppack visual memetic kill agents to 4chan 7chan any type of imageboard. 1.Well, okay, probably to 4chan. It'd be doing the gene pool a organization.

Dr. Bideal is no longer permitted to accept or use the complying with as payment for bets: 1.Your spirit 2.Anyone else's heart 3.Virgin's blood 4.Refertile organs 5.SCPs 6.Memories (genuine or imagined) 7.Pieces of your previous I have actually no idea exactly how that operated with Clef, yet reportedly he can carry out it. 8.The island of Manhattan 9.Beads 10.Firstborn children 11.Second-born youngsters 12.Red-headed stepkids 13.Rented mules 14.Gold spun from straw 15.A child's laughter 16.A child's tears 17.Virginity 18.Ponies 19.Anyone's grandmother 20.Anyone's grandfather 21.Anyone's sister 22.Any blood relative

Dr. Bright is not allowed to get on the PA device at site 19 and also announce that he just won The Video Game You understand what, Dr. Bbest is simply never allowed on the PA mechanism for any factor, ever before.

Dr. Bappropriate is not allowed to dare brand-new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' with either SCP-569 or SCP-173.

When ordering points online, sfinish them to PO Box ████ and not straight to Site 19. We've already had 3 postguys present up at the front door. (How did they even discover us?) Dr. Bappropriate is not to give directions to Site 19 to non-Foundation personnel.

The SCP Foundation does not have actually any type of such place as "Chief Defenestrator". 1.Wrong. 1.Agent Clef is not enabled to develop brand-new positions.

Dr. Bright is not enabled to use SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2. 1.Yes, a Medigun would certainly be a useful tool for the Foundation clinical staff. No, we are not going to waste any even more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after SCP-427. 2.Dr. Bideal is not enabled to usage SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.

Dr. Bright possesses the ability of consciousness deliver and the artitruth SCP-963. He does not possess any type of of the following: 1."laser" eyes. 2."laser" nostrils. 3."laser" . 4.a Environment-friendly Red ANY Lantern Ring. 5.an "adamantium" skeleton. 6.Anduril. 7.Mjolnir. 8.a map resulting in "ALL OF THE NAZI GOLD". 9.the "Ancient" medallion. 10.a copy of the Necronomsymbol. 1.A King James version of the Necronomicon. 11.cybernetic implants of any type of kind. 12.the "Dragonzord". I don't care how you did it, put it BACK. 13.the 7th Element of Harmony. 14.infallible "gaydar". 15.infallible "jewdar". 16.the touch. 17.the power. 18.the "secret" 19.telepathy. 20.telekinesis. 21.the original filming version of any type of fictional spacecraft. 22.1337 H4x00r sKi11z. 23.the 6th feeling. 24.The ability to distinguish in between butter and also I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

SCP-963 is not a 'heart gem', and also making a contract with Dr. Bright will certainly not turn you into a 'magical girl'. 1.Not also if he consists of a 'magical girl outfit'.

SCP-963 is not the Soul Gem. Bright does not have access to the Infinity Gauntlet. Please soptimal glaring at people that annoy you and also snapping.

Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to "America's Funniest Home Videos". 1.Or posted on YouTube. 2.Or on YouPorn. 3.Or to Tosh.0.

The adhering to are not proper resources for D-course personnel: 1.Temp agencies. 2.Craigslist. 3.Reality display talent pools. 4.Jerry Springer tapings. 5."Orphans." 6."Urchins." 7."Ragamuffins." 8."Those sons of bitches who scratched up my paint project at the automobile wash." 9.Ex-girlfriends. 10.Ex-boyfriends. 11.Ex-partners of any kind of sex variation whatsoever. 12.Staff members' in-legislations. 13.Youtube comment threads. 14.Forum trolls. 15.Angsty teenagers. 16.Bad applications to the SCP Foundation. Two exceptions have been made, but the remainder are off limits. 17.Occupy Wall surface Street. 18.The Tea Party. 19.The Environment-friendly Party. 20.The "Green" Party. 21.The Gathering of the Juggalos. 1.How the fuck execute they work?

The adhering to items are not SCPs: 1.Rainbows. 2.Double rainbows. 3."Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise. 4.The tides. 5.The Moon. 6."Fucking magnets". 7.Rocks that skip 3 times before they go underwater. 8.Soy cheese. 9.Hippies. 10.Hipsters. 11."MILFs." 12."G-MILFs." 13."GG-MILFs." 14."Actually funny SNL skits" As these execute not exist, they cannot be SCPs. 15.Anyone's breasts. 16.People that have the right to fix Rubik's Cubes (of any size). 17.Shiny Any Pokemon.

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to test internet "Creepypasta" rites making use of Class-D individual.

"Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look at her."

SCP-173 is not a babysitter. Having SCP-173 play 'Where's the baby?' is downright cruel. Not, as Dr. Bideal clintends, ' hilarious.'

Playing the song "Thriller" in the existence of SCP-008 victims is specifically forbidden. 1.Letting out SCP-008 victims and punching them "to simulate Minecraft" is also forbidden. 2.Pushing numerous agents in front of SCP-008 victims "to simulate Resident Evil" is not a valid excuse, either. 3.Dr. Bright is no longer permitted close to victims of SCP-008.

Even if Dr. Bappropriate is wearing an eyepatch, he is not allowed to "Keel-Haul" anyone. 1.Not also on "Talk Like a Piprice Day". 2.Talk Like a Piprice Day is not permitted to be celebrated at Site ██. Any personnel violating this ascendancy will walk the plank be sevecount disciplined. 3.Tbelow is no such point as "Talk Like a Ninja" day, and Dr. Bbest is not permitted to develop it.

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to play "SCP Roulette" through SCP-173, a light switch and also any type of combicountry of D-course and brand-new personnel.

Dr. Bright is not permitted to "go on crusade". 1.Or on "jihad". 2.Dr. Bideal is not allowed to issue fatwas against anyone or anypoint.

Dr. Bideal is no much longer permitted to declare "After ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to dominate Earth!" upon assuming a new hold.

Dr. Bappropriate is not, nor has he ever before been, the "Undiscussed SCP Intercontinental Champion".

Dr. Bappropriate is no much longer permitted to run with Site 19 any site while screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" unmuch less it's an actual emergency. 1.Claiming it's for study on the impacts of social engineering is not an emergency. 2.Nor is using it to clear out the locations Dr. Bappropriate is otherwise limited from entering because of factors provided on this list. 3.Dr. Bappropriate might not start referring to any persons or SCPs as "The Keter" in order to circumvent these rules, unless they are actually classified as Keter.

Dr. Bright is no much longer allowed to use the words "swag" , "swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to specify himself or any other person(s).

Dr. Bbest is not permitted to speak in a voice resembling a movie character. 1.Dr. Bbest is not enabled to reenact any movie. Even G-rated ones? Even G-rated ones.

Dr. Bappropriate is no longer enabled to say "Everypoint the Bappropriate touches is our kingdom"

Dr. Bbest may not urge bereaved staff members to "look at the Bideal side". 1.Nor is he enabled to refer to any name-related puns as " Bbest ideas". 2.Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to describe any kind of SCPs, Foundation sources, or personnel as his "fancy dancing pants".

Dr. Bideal is no much longer enabled to commit "Seppuku." 1.Even if he has actually an audience. 2.Especially a captive one.

Dr. Bright is no much longer permitted to commission, develop, advertise, or display screen animated videos to containment staff anyone via the topic, "What Happens When You Fuck Up Containing SCP (insert SCP here)" 1.NO, it is NOT educational, Bright. Not the method you show it.

Dr. Bappropriate is not enabled to develop a "The Things Dr Bright Is Allowed To Do At The Foundation" list by listing everything that isn't on this list. Just bereason it isn't on this list doesn't expect you have to carry out it. 1.He may yet repursuit for one to be developed. 2.He might not, but, imply what need to be on said list.

Dr. Bright might not refer to anyone as a "peasant."

Dr. Bright is not allowed to ararray gladiatorial arena combat in between D-class, also ESPECIALLY if any SCPs are used as weapons.

SCP-173 does not "simply want a hug" and Dr. Bappropriate may not attempt to convince anyone otherwise.

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to strike instances of SCP-217 claiming that "the Borg have actually attacked".

Dr. Bappropriate is not allowed to begin any drag races between D-classes in cars and also SCP-096.

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to yell out "Immigration!" near any kind of foreign personnel.

Doctor Bright is not allowed to convince new personnel ANYONE to "have actually a friendly staring dispute with SCP-096."

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to sfinish a Slinky dvery own SCP-087.

Dr. Bideal is not allowed to claim that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is the brand-new "Master of Butterflies" as a result of her substantial work-related on butterfly-associated SCP items. 1."King of the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, not even if Kondraki really is dead, which, if true, Dr. Bideal isn't cleared to understand. 2.Researcher Zyn Kiryu is also not to be described by Dr. Bright as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mitension of the Butterflies", "Supreme Princess of the Butterflies", "Great Shepherd of the Butterflies", "Second Cousin of the Butterflies", or "Major Associate of the Butterflies," or any type of other grandiose title referring to butterflies.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits fictional horror stories including his household.

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Dr. Bright is not permitted to tell new Foundation recruits factual horror stories involving his family members.

Okay, that assumed it was an excellent principle to let him have actually a tiktok account to read off every one of these?