While that is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only due to the fact that there is no such thing.

You are watching: Things dr. bright is not allowed to do

There is no industry for SCP brand pornography. 1.No, not even in Germany.

Victims that SCP-217 room not toys. 1.Nor space they to be used as props in ~ a Steampunk Convention.

. Not also for entertain use.

Not allowed to send Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church that the broken God.

Not allowed to finish reports v lyrics indigenous "The fresh Prince of Bel-Air". 1.But is allowed to end with lyrics from the safety and security Dance. 2.The interpretive dance routine, however, is forbidden till he gets lessons for the foreseeable future.

Dr. Bright is NOT: A superhero of any type of sort, Head of public Relations, in charge of Orientation for new staff, a medical professional of psychology, a member of website Command, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head the SCP Review, or a member of maintain Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Shining IS a member of website Command. It's usually finest not to ask why. It's O5 Command you're reasoning of.)

No longer enabled to comprise jodies because that morning calisthenics. 1.Yes, this has The Mickey computer mouse Club song.

Dr. Bright is not enabled to use SCP-963 to any significant political figures. Again.

Dr. Shining is not from an alternative timeline. 1.Dr. Shining cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline". 2.Or come "corrupt the timeline". 3.Or to "screw through those background nerds".

1.Chainsaws are not the systems to every question.1.Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.2.Or "Chainsaw cannons"1.Except for that one time. And also yes, it to be awesome.SCP speed dating never ever happened. Any one who cases to remember such an event should report to site Command for administration of class A amnesiac.

Nothing in the foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'

"My evil twin did it" is no longer thought about a viable excuse. 1.Nor is "My great twin go it," considering the implications.

Yes, forum trolls space annoying. No, castle don't automatically become D-class personnel.

The "Ultimate Showdown of can be fried Destiny" is no grounds come pit much more than fifteen combative SCPs, consisting of SCP-682 and Able, versus each other. 1."Weeding out several of these angsty teens with mindset problems," however, is. 2.Dr. Glowing is not permitted to administer 'Free Hugs.'

The foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any of the following: 1."Stab Carrion Powerfully" 2."Let's use it ~ above 682!" 3."Throw the cheese!" 4."That's it, you're on Keter Duty." 5."Can we put it in 914?" 6."Blood renders the grass grow, kill, kill, kill!" 7."Fuck trees, i climb clouds motherfucker!" 8."Someone is gaining stabbed." 1.But some days, it should be. 9."Whose hand is that?" 10."If every else fails, poop on it." 11."If all else fails, there's constantly the sun." 12."We require bigger kittens." 13."Society of Creepy Perverts." 14."Fuck Death, War, Famine and Pestilence. We've acquired Clef, Gears, Kondraki and also Bright." 15."Throw D-Class in ~ it till it stops." 16."447 and also dead bodies, two good tastes that taste an excellent together." 17."The FBI are a bunch of pansies." 18."Who wants to see what I can make the president execute in public?" 19."For the Horde!" 20."Science because that the scientific research God!" 21."Make sure to wipe her feet top top 2558!" 22."When in doubt, feeding it to 682." 23."Slapstick, Clowns and also Puns" 24."Drop the ceiling now!" 25."Seduction, Coitus, and Pregnancy" 26."We constantly need an ext Dakka!" 27."Still Alive, and Found the Cake" 28."Don't Worry, O5 won't ever figure it out!" 29."Will that blend?" 30."Commies love us!" 31."Snap Crackle and also Pop"

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to market the solution of "Use an ext guns" to any kind of problem. 1.Or "Get enlarge guns."

Despite what he may say and any evidence, no matter exactly how plausible, the SCP structure has never and will never be associated with Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and regardless of what Dr. Bright may say, the is not, and also I quote, "A actual life wizarding tutor." 1.Nor is that a vampire. The was body glitter and bad acting. 2.And despite what the computer document on him might say, he is no Muad'dib. The summer sprouts can flow just fine without him.

Cthulhu and R'lyeh are not valid reasons to send Pandora's crate out right into the Pacific s in order to record them. Furthermore, these are not even SCPs, and I will uncover the person who determined to go into a database document for them.

Dr. Shining is not enabled to upload intuitive memetic kill agents come 4chan 7chan any kind of imageboard. 1.Well, okay, maybe to 4chan. It'd it is in doing the gene swimming pool a service.

Dr. Shining is no longer enabled to expropriate or usage the following as payment for bets: 1.Your soul 2.Anyone else's heart 3.Virgin's blood 4.Reproductive offal 5.SCPs 6.Memories (real or imagined) 7.Pieces of your past I have no idea exactly how that worked with Clef, yet apparently he can do it. 8.The island of Manhattan 9.Beads 10.Firstborn youngsters 11.Second-born children 12.Red-headed stepchildren 13.Rented mules 14.Gold spun from straw 15.A child's laughter 16.A child's tears 17.Virginity 18.Ponies 19.Anyone's granny 20.Anyone's grandfather 21.Anyone's sister 22.Any blood relative

Dr. Glowing is not enabled to obtain on the PA system at site 19 and announce that he just won The video game You know what, Dr. Shining is just never allowed on the PA mechanism for any kind of reason, ever.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' through either SCP-569 or SCP-173.

When ordering things online, send them come PO crate ████ and not straight to website 19. We've currently had three postmen present up in ~ the prior door. (How did they even discover us?) Dr. Shining is not to offer directions to website 19 come non-Foundation personnel.

The SCP foundation does no have any kind of such position as "Chief Defenestrator". 1.Wrong. 1.Agent Clef is not enabled to create new positions.

Dr. Glowing is not allowed to use SCP-914 to handmade items native Team Fortress 2. 1.Yes, a Medigun would certainly be a advantageous tool because that the foundation medical staff. No, we space not going come waste any an ext SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not ~ SCP-427. 2.Dr. Bright is not allowed to usage SCP-914 to handmade items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.

Dr. Bright own the ability of awareness transfer and the artifact SCP-963. The does no possess any type of of the following: 1."laser" eyes. 2."laser" nostrils. 3."laser" . 4.a environment-friendly Red any kind of Lantern Ring. 5.an "adamantium" skeleton. 6.Anduril. 7.Mjolnir. 8.a map resulting in "ALL of THE NAZI GOLD". 9.the "Ancient" medallion. 10.a copy the the Necronomicon. 1.A King James version of the Necronomicon. 11.cybernetic implants of any kind of kind. 12.the "Dragonzord". Ns don't care how girlfriend did it, placed it BACK. 13.the 7th facet of Harmony. 14.infallible "gaydar". 15.infallible "jewdar". 16.the touch. 17.the power. 18.the "secret" 19.telepathy. 20.telekinesis. 21.the initial filming design of any fictional spacecraft. 22.1337 H4x00r sKi11z. 23.the sixth sense. 24.The capacity to distinguish between butter and I Can't believe It's no Butter.

SCP-963 is not a 'soul gem', and also making a contract v Dr. Bright will not turn you right into a 'magical girl'. 1.Not also if he includes a 'magical girl outfit'.

SCP-963 is no the heart Gem. Bright does no have accessibility to the Infinity Gauntlet. Please prevent glaring at people who annoy you and also snapping.

Copies of SCP-1981 space not come be submitted to "America's Funniest residence Videos". 1.Or posted on YouTube. 2.Or ~ above YouPorn. 3.Or to Tosh.0.

The following are not proper sources because that D-class personnel: 1.Temp agencies. 2.Craigslist. 3.Reality display talent pools. 4.Jerry Springer tapings. 5."Orphans." 6."Urchins." 7."Ragamuffins." 8."Those young of bitches who scratched up my repaint job at the automobile wash." 9.Ex-girlfriends. 10.Ex-boyfriends. 11.Ex-partners of any type of gender variation whatsoever. 12.Staff members' in-laws. 13.Youtube comment threads. 14.Forum trolls. 15.Angsty teens. 16.Bad applications come the SCP Foundation. 2 exceptions have been made, yet the rest are off limits. 17.Occupy wall surface Street. 18.The Tea Party. 19.The eco-friendly Party. 20.The "Green" Party. 21.The collection of the Juggalos. 1.How the fuck perform they work?

The complying with items space not SCPs: 1.Rainbows. 2.Double rainbows. 3."Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise. 4.The tides. 5.The Moon. 6."Fucking magnets". 7.Rocks the skip three times before they go underwater. 8.Soy cheese. 9.Hippies. 10.Hipsters. 11."MILFs." 12."G-MILFs." 13."GG-MILFs." 14."Actually funny SNL skits" as these carry out not exist, they can not be SCPs. 15.Anyone's breasts. 16.People who have the right to solve Rubik's Cubes (of any type of size). 17.Shiny any kind of Pokemon.

Dr. Bright is not enabled to test web "Creepypasta" rites utilizing Class-D personal.

"Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look in ~ her."

SCP-173 is no a babysitter. Having SCP-173 pat 'Where's the baby?' is downright cruel. Not, together Dr. Shining claims, ' hilarious.'

Playing the song "Thriller" in the visibility of SCP-008 victims is expressly forbidden. 1.Letting out SCP-008 victims and also punching lock "to simulate Minecraft" is likewise forbidden. 2.Pushing number of agents in former of SCP-008 victim "to simulate resides Evil" is not a precious excuse, either. 3.Dr. Bright is no longer allowed near victims of SCP-008.

Even if Dr. Shining is attract an eyepatch, he is not enabled to "Keel-Haul" anyone. 1.Not even on "Talk choose a Pirate Day". 2.Talk choose a Pirate day is not enabled to be commemorated at site ██. Any type of personnel violating this rule will go the plank be severely disciplined. 3.There is no such point as "Talk like a Ninja" day, and also Dr. Bright is not allowed to produce it.

Dr. Glowing is not permitted to beat "SCP Roulette" through SCP-173, a light switch and also any mix of D-class and brand-new personnel.

Dr. Shining is not permitted to "go ~ above crusade". 1.Or ~ above "jihad". 2.Dr. Shining is not allowed to issue fatwas against anyone or anything.

Dr. Bright is no longer permitted to explain "After ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" upon assuming a new host.

Dr. Glowing is not, nor has he ever been, the "Undisputed SCP Intercontinental Champion".

Dr. Bright is no longer permitted to run through website 19 any type of site if screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" uneven it's an yes, really emergency. 1.Claiming it's for study on the impacts of social engineering is not an emergency. 2.Nor is making use of it to clear out the areas Dr. Glowing is otherwise minimal from entering due to reasons offered on this list. 3.Dr. Bright might not begin referring to any persons or SCPs together "The Keter" in order come circumvent these rules, unless they space actually classified as Keter.

Dr. Bright is no longer permitted to usage the words "swag" , "swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to define himself or any kind of other person(s).

Dr. Glowing is not enabled to speak in a voice resembling a movie character. 1.Dr. Shining is not permitted to reenact any movie. Even G-rated ones? also G-rated ones.

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to to speak "Everything the Bright touches is ours kingdom"

Dr. Bright might not urge bereaved staff members to "look in ~ the glowing side". 1.Nor is he allowed to express to any name-related puns as " glowing ideas". 2.Dr. Glowing is not enabled to to express to any kind of SCPs, structure resources, or personnel together his "fancy dancing pants".

Dr. Bright is no longer permitted to go "Seppuku." 1.Even if he has actually an audience. 2.Especially a captive one.

Dr. Glowing is no longer enabled to commission, produce, advertise, or display animated videos come containment employee anyone v the subject, "What Happens when You Fuck increase Containing SCP (insert SCP here)" 1.NO, that is no educational, Bright. No the means you present it.

Dr. Glowing is not allowed to create a "The points Dr shining Is permitted To execute At The Foundation" list by listing whatever that isn't on this list. Just due to the fact that it isn't ~ above this list doesn't average you must do it. 1.He may however request for one to be created. 2.He might not, however, indicate what have to be on said list.

Dr. Bright may not refer to anyone together a "peasant."

Dr. Glowing is not allowed to kinds gladiatorial arena combat in between D-class, even especially if any type of SCPs are used as weapons.

SCP-173 does no "just desire a hug" and also Dr. Bright might not attempt to convince anyone otherwise.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to attack instances of SCP-217 claiming that "the Borg have attacked".

Dr. Glowing is not permitted to start any kind of drag races in between D-classes in cars and SCP-096.

Dr. Shining is not allowed to yell out "Immigration!" near any type of foreign personnel.

Doctor bright is not allowed to convince new personnel ANYONE to "have a trusted staring dispute with SCP-096."

Dr. Shining is not enabled to send a Slinky under SCP-087.

Dr. Glowing is not allowed to case that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is the brand-new "Master the Butterflies" due to her extensive work ~ above butterfly-related SCP items. 1."King the the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, not also if Kondraki yes, really is dead, which, if true, Dr. Shining isn't cleared to know. 2.Researcher Zyn Kiryu is additionally not to be described by Dr. Bright as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mistress the the Butterflies", "Supreme Princess the the Butterflies", "Great Shepherd the the Butterflies", "Second Cousin the the Butterflies", or "Major combine of the Butterflies," or any kind of other grandiose title referring to butterflies.

Dr. Glowing is not allowed to tell new foundation recruits fictional fear stories including his family.

See more: Api-Ms-Win-Crt-Runtime-L1-1-0.Dll Is Missing Itunes Giving Me This Error: Api

Dr. Shining is not permitted to call new foundation recruits factual horror stories involving his family.

Okay, who assumed it was a great idea to let him have actually a tik account to review off all of these?