A friend of mine calls for support. The common theme is she is a victim. Native the ton of her voice I deserve to tell as soon as she simply wants to vent. I can repeat literally 40 times "yes that is no fair". If I market my entry she will acquire mad and also often just hang up on me.

How have the right to I tell she that obtaining mad and hanging up on me is not functioning for me?

Usually I simply wait a couple of days and also tell her ns am sorry i upset her. Not willing to continue with that. If she is going to obtain mad and hang up on me climate I would rather simply not talk to her.

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We dated years earlier and she obtained mad back then. Now we fulfill up for lunch choose every couple months.

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edited Dec 23 "17 at 20:09
asked Dec 23 "17 at 14:53

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When she hangs increase on you, don"t initiate contact with her after that. Don"t call her back and apologize. Don"t contact her in any type of way. Friend don"t want to talk to her when she behaves like that, so just don"t initiate contact with her.

She has actually learned that hanging increase on you is acceptable behavior. It"s not. Through stepping away you room removing from she the opportunity to speak to you. If she can"t have actually a conversation on your terms, then she can"t talk to you in ~ all.

When she does ultimately make contact with you and asks where you"ve been and also how come girlfriend haven"t called, you say that she hung increase on you, for this reason you believed she didn"t desire to talk to friend anymore. If you desire to, you deserve to elaborate about it and say she harms your feelings as soon as she does that.

If she desires to talk, she needs to find out to do it as an adult on your terms. If she can"t, earlier off and don"t initiate call until she can.

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answered Dec 23 "17 in ~ 18:17
Paparazzi She isn't letting you aid her appropriate now, she's hanging increase on you prior to you obtain the chance. This method also way she doesn't take you because that granted.
Dec 23 "17 at 18:29
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You claimed that

From the tone of she voice I can tell once she simply wants come vent.

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If you have the right to tell that she desires to vent climate why market her her input? This isn"t what she is feather for and also this is why she gets mad and hangs up. She doesn"t desire you come tell she what you think. She just wants you to listen.

Now from your inquiry it seems-and exactly me if I"m wrong- the you might be exhausted of just repeating yourself. So you room basically trapped. Top top one hand, if you execute what she wants you come do-just listen and repeat yourself-it affect you to the suggest it forces you to offer her your opinion. And also when you perform that she gets upset through you. For this reason you room both play a game and also you probably got worn down of it.

Be moral with her and also ask her exactly how she would like you to assist and it is in supportive, otherwise don"t speak anything, hear to her vent or rant and when she"s done, ask she if she care to recognize what you think (though she appears to have reached a allude where she"s walking on circles. She most most likely knows what you think yet doesn"t desire to accept it or action on it or adjust the situation).

Or adjust the topic or talk around you. If she proceeds to acquire mad or placed you in a place where you finish up offering suggestions or advice when it clearly hasn"t to be effective, simply tell she politely either on the phone call or in human that it seems that you aren"t maybe to aid her anymore because you either need to repeat you yourself which drains you (if the does) or it is in tricked into offering advice i m sorry she clearly rejects by acquiring mad and also hanging up. Your friend seems either to not be able to or be ready to adjust whatever the is she complains come you about. Over there isn"t much you have the right to do here. It"s basically approximately you to allow or not enable her behavior.

Something useful is to use her own arguments or examples from your conversation to defend your position. You could tell her that every time she says A, it pressures you to carry out B, which renders her carry out C (gets mad and so on). Don"t be fear to resolve that and ask her what she would execute in her situation.

From your comment to mine answer:

If the truth that she won"t expropriate your aid when girlfriend seem to know just how to assist her, bothers friend so much, ask she why. Discover out why she won"t. Tell she if you feeling rejected or offended, it is in open about your feeling without gift rude to her. She answer could give you more clues regarding whether this is her not really wanting to it is in helped, or no trusting girlfriend can aid her, or there can be other reasons. Ns don"t know if you just talk ~ above the phone but this seems favor a conversation you could need to have in person.